And the Just Shall Live By Faith

The Pursuit of Happiness...with an I

2011-03-09T21:17:00.000-08:00

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about what it means to be happy. Most people spend their entire lives pursuing happiness. I guess most of our culture and economy is based upon the pursuit of happiness. Heck, the idea of the United States of America was 1/3 based on the pursuit of happiness.

What I have been wondering is how happy are we? Does money, clothes, cars, fame, family, friends, knowledge, beauty, health; does any of it really make us happy? I see a world around me moving and running and pursuing everything that the human heart can desire. However, I doubt, in fact I know, that those things in themselves have no ability to make anyone happy. I mean all you have to do is watch tv or read the tabloids to see your run-of-the-mill movie star or rock star. They have money, beauty, houses, clothes. They seemingly have everything and yet most of them aren't happy at all.

So, If the people who have everything that most people believe will make them happy and they aren't happy. Why do we keep pursuing those things, hoping we will be different. Albert Einstein said this about insanity. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. If are pursuit of happiness is the pursuit of the same thing over and over again seeking to be happy and never getting different results, i.e. happiness, isn't that the definition of insanity?

C.S. Lewis said, "God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.” If this is true, and I believe it is, then most people are in the pursuit of something they will never obtain. They are the very definition of insane. They are pursuing something that does not exist, at least in the realm they are existing in, all the while expecting different results.

The true road in the pursuit of happiness is seek your happiness in God. Jesus said in Matthew 6:25-34: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a? 28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Jesus gave us the roadmap for our pursuit of happiness, to seek the kingdom and righteousness first. Maybe we should try something different. I bet we will actually get different results this time. Let's stop the insanity!

The National Debt and My Response

2010-12-22T15:11:00.000-08:00

Today, the National Debt of the United States of America is $13,888,368,297,756. I could have just said it was 13.8 trillion dollars, but seeing the full number written out brings a little more gravity to what some think is an irrelevant or arbitrary number.

Here is another scary figure: that works out to each tax payer owing $125,679. Why would I owe that much, I don't remember spending that, you say. Well, lest we forget, we are a republic and that means we elected officials to spend on our behalf.

How did we get there you wonder? Most people believe that during the era of President Clinton, we had a budget surplus, which is correct. That just means, we weren't overspending, that doesn't mean we paid down all of our debt.

Our national debt goes way, way back. See, we have actually run a debt since January 8th, 1835. We were at Zero debt momentarily. This of course didn't last long once our nation was thrust into a civil war. We paid that down quickly, but then came WWI, the Great Depression, and WWII. The debt was pretty significant as it was but took the biggest upswing we had seen since the Depression in the 2000's. The debt doubled as we fought a war on two fronts, had three significant tax cuts, and added another section to Medicare. Today, as we continue to add to our spending we obviously continue to incur debt.

Spending, better known as our Fiscal Policy or how we spend, i.e." the budget" is only part of our problem. We also have a significant Trade Deficit. In very simplistic terms, we buy more from other countries than we sell to them. What is happening is that we are consuming more than we produce and consuming costs.

See, all of our short term actions have led to long term consequences. These are some major issues to a very large and complicated problem involving Federal Rates, Currency, Foreign Owned Debt, and above all Leadership.

Today, as I read, I wondered what can I do? What should my response be? I wish I had the luxury of thinking about these things void of any spiritual implications. Scratched that, no I don't. Nor do I really think it's a luxury to think in a manner void of spiritual implications. In fact, I believe being void of spiritual implications has possibly gotten us to this place, e.g. greed. I believe whole-heartedly that what I believe about who God is and what he expects of me has direct implications to the national debt. As a believer, I am called to be a steward of the monies placed in my care. I am also called to be a steward of the freedoms given to me under the government God has placed over me.

So what is my responsibility as I see it:
1. To not be a hypocrite and expect of my government something that I am not doing. I need to not spend on credit and think carefully about what I am buying and why.
2. I need save, for the purpose of giving to those who may need it. I need not save to rely on it as in a future hope. Christ is my hope and I need not be greedy and store for the future as a trust system. This however does not preclude future fiscal wisdom.
3. I need to invest in the kingdom. Giving to missionaries and non-profits concerned with helping people both physically and spiritually.
4. I need to vote responsibly on person and policy.
5. I need to pray for my government so that I may live in peace.

Discipleship, Discipleship, Discipleship.

2010-08-07T11:07:00.000-07:00

Why would a guy, who is not a pastor, care so much about discipleship? I mean, if you know anything about me you know that I have an unhealthy fascination with Abraham Lincoln, Twinkies, secret societies (of which, I may or may not be a part of), the inner workings of our political system, the Secret Service and CIA, and an almost unhealthy fondness of little people and magic. Why do I care so much about the Church and her health and future? Good question. I ask the an opposite question in the same vein. Why don't most people care so much about the health and future of the Church? I mean, Jesus, God-in-the-flesh called the Church his bride, shouldn't we give it more than an intellectual passing glance every Sunday?

I honestly believe most people who claim to be Christians don't think about the Church more than when they are trying to decide if they should actually go when they get up on the first day of the week. And when I say go, a lot of Christians think about going as if going only meant going to a building where holy things and holy-like people gather. The idea of gathering in a building is fine and all; we need a place to gather; most homes aren't large enough. However, what I am describing is the misplaced assumption that Church is a place rather than a living, growing body of believers.

The Church can be defined as twofold: There is the Universal Church, compiled of everyone in the world who knows and loves Christ as their Lord and Savior. Then there is the local manifestation of that where people gather together to worship (sing, pray, confess sin, hear the reading and preaching of God's Word), participate in the sacraments, fellowship, etc. These can't be done unless we are gathered in a local manifestation of the universal church - the local church. That's where the building comes in. You most likely need a place to gather to do these things. However, don't place the essence of the Church in the building, rather it should be in corporate body of believers.

Pete, weren't you going to talk about Discipleship? That's what your title says...three times? I'm getting there.

I purposefully left out a major component of the local and universal church because I think in many ways the local and universal church has left it out. That major component is Discipleship. What is Discipleship? Discipleship is simply (loaded word) carrying out the second part of the Great Commission of Jesus. Jesus said in Matthew 28:19-20 "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you." Many in the church have taken discipleship and extracted evangelism out leaving the "teaching them to observe all that I commanded you" part to lay shriveled up and dying. It's much easier to share the gospel with someone, but really hard to live life with them...especially long enough to teach them ALL that Jesus commanded. Discipleship means not only proclaiming the gospel, but living in a radical way that says to those you are proclaiming to, come live with me (sometimes literally, like in your home), "follow me, as I follow Christ".

I think for many in the Church, this is a scary thing. I know it scares me. It scares me because I look at my life and I see vast canvases where the brush strokes have been anything but sanctified. It scares me because I am impatient and selfish. It scares me because wonder if I really understand all that Jesus commanded. Despite my fear, I know this is exactly what Jesus commanded us to do. He commands the Church to multiply itself through discipleship, not evangelism. Evangelism is a lazy re-interpretation of Matt.28. I know I am making a bold statement, but I have trouble seeing anywhere in Scripture where someone just spread the gospel without saying, "Follow me". At the very least, they would leave them in the care of those who they knew would disciple them. For the future health of the Church, we have to start being intentional about producing spiritual "mini-me's". Does it scare me to grab guys and say, "Follow me as I follow Christ"? You bet! Will my sin be exposed and I be humbled? You bet! Will I be tired and have to give up personal time? You bet! But Jesus commanded it!

Even though Discipleship is scary, it is necessary for how the Church will grow. I leave with this and am comforted by the last verse in chapter 28 of Matthew. After Jesus commands his disciples and us to make disciples, he makes this promise "And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age". We aren't alone in our pursuit of making disciples! Jesus is with us. He covers our mistakes and leads us in the way of righteousness. Let's go and make "mini-me's"!

The Times, They Are Achangin'

2009-12-16T09:51:00.001-08:00

I have decided to change my blog. In posts of past, I have mostly written about stupid stuff, every once and a while, I would post my deeper ramblings. However, I have come under the conviction and am compelled to write about what I believe is a neglected subject in conservative evangelicalism. We have rightly concerned ourselves with defending sound doctrine, the Gospel, and such things as inerrancy and whatnot. However, I believe we have neglected the most important adornment of the Gospel, mainly Compassion. We have neglected the physical trauma of the world. We have done well to proclaim the good news of salvation for the soul and yet left physical bodies - bruised, beaten, poverty ridden, homeless, hungry, friendless, etc. Francis Schaeffer stated that, "Sound doctrine without compassion is surely the ugliest thing in the world." How true it is.

I don't want to be misunderstood in that I don't claim the Gospel needs any help or that the Gospel is insufficient. It is not! However, the Gospel without compassion for one's physical needs seems to ring hollow. Over and over again, as Christ sends out the disciples, he tells them not only to preach, but to heal. Compassion and mercy ministries are true reflections of the Gospel. They proclaim a change, a departing from this fallen world system that corrupts.

Now again, I don't believe it is the job of Christians to redeem this world. Nor am I of the post-millenial persuasion. I don't believe we are to usher in the Kingdom. Although the Kingdom has been inaugurated, nothing I do, or any other Christian does will bring about the reign of Christ. However, I believe the compassionate adornment of the Gospel is consistent with the character of our loving God. He exemplified in Christ, who is the gospel, what true mercy and compassion ministries are. God is loving, kind, merciful, just. He lets the rain fall on the sinners and saved alike. We are most like our Father and like Christ when we pursue justice, mercy, and love. As Matt 5:6-11 says, we are to be salt and light to the world. Adding seasoning and preservation, shedding light in the dark places. We are called to do justly, to love mercy (Micah 6:8) Why? Because these are attributes of God. When we don't love mercy, do justice, or walk humbly, we ignore the commands of God.

I can no longer ignore the compelling of my heart and if you are a believer. I am not sure how you can either. Each week, I will update my blog with an injustice taking place either in the U.S. or in other parts of the world. I hope that you will pray along with me. But don't just pray, act. God moved and acted and came into our world in Jesus Christ. He was the first missionary, ran the first food pantry, was a medical missionary, ran a charity. I believe he may be calling some of you to do the same.

Why Some Doubt is Good!

2009-12-01T20:54:00.000-08:00

It sounds strange to even say it, but I believe a little doubt is good. Or should I say, the understanding that doubt is ever present is a good thing. Doubt itself, the presence of lacking trust, is not a good thing. In fact, doubt is a sin. So why do I say it is good? I believe it is good in the context that it should lead us to a great dependence on the Lord.

In Mark 9, a disheartened man stands before Jesus; his son, suffering from many years of torment by a demon. He has brought his son to the disciples to be healed, but they could not. He stands before Jesus, a man sucked dry of all seeming hope. He speaks to Jesus, in what I imagine to be, a small voice, cracking with dry mouth and with tears welling up in his eyes. "Lord, if you can do anything, please heal my son?" Jesus in a kind voice speaks to the man, "IF I can....All things are possible for those who believe." The man with hope welling up inside him and yet the doubt of many years of living with a demonized son, exclaims (shouts) "Lord, I believe! Help my unbelief." And Jesus takes his son and casts out the demon.

This passage is so comforting to me! Maybe it is because I see so much of myself in this man. However, it scares me because in the passage you also see the opposite of this man in the disciples. See the key to this man's faith and subsequent healing by Jesus, is that this man was real about his doubt and fear. His doubt drove him to dependence on the Lord. He knew that he could not overcome his doubt without the help of God. He realized that even the faith to believe was a gift that only God could give. The disciples try to heal this man's son but believed they could do it by their own abilities and talents. Their lack of humility led them to be dependent on themselves, rather than God. The absence of doubt is the essence of arrogance. These disciples forgot that they were sinners and were dependent upon Christ for all their strength and abilities. The man with the son, was desperate.

So when I say I believe doubt is good, I say that because, we all have doubt. We are fallen and thus sinners by nature. Doubt is inherent in us because of the fall. That doubt should lead us to cry out to God, "Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!" Anyone who says they don't have any doubt is not being honest. You may have little doubt, or moments when your doubt seems insignificant, but the doubt is present nonetheless. Only when are faith is made sight will all of our doubts subside. Until then we must recognize they are there and we must let them lead us to a greater dependence for faith on the Lord. Don't indulge your doubts. That will only lead to despair. God is bigger than our doubts. He is not afraid of them. He will answer them in due time. I believe he makes all things beautiful, in his time. That is why I believe doubt is good.

I Can't Sleep

2009-11-19T22:43:00.000-08:00

I Can't sleep tonight. Actually, I couldn't sleep last night, or the night before that, or the one before that, etc. I am pretty sure that I have had a sleeping problem my whole life. I miss sleep, err, I think I miss it. I used to remember what sleeping through the whole night was like...when I was 4. I had dreams strangely containing Abraham Lincoln and this beaver. You think I'm joking. No friend, I jest not about my dream life! My dreams are as vivid and as alive as real life. I often have dreams where the sequence of events entail me driving around town trying to find an open donut shop. I never actually find one in my dreams. It's worse than those dreams where you are always falling but you never hit the ground. I never actually get a donut. I am breaking out into a cold sweat just thinking about that nightmare. That dream is partially scary due to the fact that I never actually find an open donut shop and partially scary because I am actually dreaming about donuts. Those types of dreams make you look forward to dreaming about Abe Lincoln riding a bike with a beaver on the back. And that dream makes me look forward to the day when I will once again sleep soundly. Maybe I should take Ambien? Actually, the last time I took Ambien, I woke up whilst sleep walking up the stairs to my third floor apartment. I was wearing nothing but my christmas tree boxers and my car keys in my hand. I am pretty sure I drove that night. Maybe I was trying to find donuts?

Mending Kids Benefit

2009-11-08T20:26:00.000-08:00

This past Friday, I spent the day at the Canyon Club near Malibu. You may be asking what is the Canyon Club and why was I there all day? Thanks for asking! As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted by your question (yes, I can read minds :) the Canyon Club is where Mending Kids International held a Benefit Concert to raise money for their ongoing mission. MKI's mission to bring children from poor countries who have serious medical needs to the United States. Partnering with three main hospitals MKI pays for the medical needs of these children. During the time these children are here, they are place in loving homes with host families. For the more serious cases, they also bring the children's parents. In this case, they house them in a home in Santa Clarita called Robin's Nest.

The concert had some great performers including Kenny Wayne Shepherd, The Drew Davis Band, and my personal favorite, Kylie Hughes. I spent the night watching Dean Cain's son and running around trying to figure out what was going on.

Anyway, I think this organization is important enough to blog about because they are doing some amazing things for kids in dire need. If you are interesting knowing more about MKI, click on the link above.

Costco, the Ultimate Fertility Drug.

2008-09-23T17:37:00.000-07:00

Today, I was on an adventure with a couple of my interns at Costco. Sidenote: I love Costco! But, don't we all? A food megawarehouse with clothes, electronics, flowers, and everything else you would need to survive on planet Mars. Plus, they give you samples! I could live in Costco. Maybe, that's what I will do. I will hide there after hours and then run amuck in the night like some hooligan homeless man causing all kinds of hoopla and shananigans. Back to my reason for blogging at hand. I don't know if anyone else has noticed this, but I was there at 3PM and it seemed that every person there was not only a woman, but one with infants...ney, newborns. I think I saw a set or two of twins even. It was a virtual breeding ground. Then I realized the two were symbiotic. They are directly proportionate....Costco makes people furtile and thus the fertility causes a greater need for large vats of mayonaise and pickles and flats of muffins, and kirklandish flannels. I haven't tested this theory but let me warn you ladies, if you go into Costco, there is a high possibility that you may come out pregnant. Therefore be warned!

Whose Money Is It?

2008-06-25T08:08:00.001-07:00

Ever since I came back from Africa, money has been on my mind a lot. Sad to say, it hasn't always been on my mind in righteous context. I mean, we all have bills, eletricity, water, phone, food, gas, gas, gas, gas, etc. Yesterday, I read an article discussing how Alan Greenspan is saying we are on the brink of recession....really? Thanks Alan, none of us could tell. This morning as I was meeting some guys from church for breakfast, I walked past the newspaper stand and an article caught my eye. The article centered on the fact that food pantries have seen a rise in the number of families visiting their locations.

When I got into my office this morning early, very early, I decided that I wanted to listen to a sermon. So I looked through my podcasts and nothing came jumping out. I then decided that I felt like listening to Mark Driscoll, so I subscribed to his podcast. The podcast from Monday started playing and guess what it was on, "Stewardship".

As I listened to the podcast, I grew very convicted about the means and method of my dealing with money. As an American 20 something hipster, my culturally trained mind thinks I need to get all the money I can in order to use it to, well, get more money. Of course my redeemed nature tugs a little and I remember I need to tithe...no, more than 10% mind you, and I also feel the weight of an impoverished world. Good thing I have learned to shrug that weight off so quickly with the busyness of all my technologically enhanced amusements, e.g. iPhone, Facebook, MacBook, etc. Still, this time, I seem to keep being brought back to this place of, where is my money going? I spend so much of "my money". And really isn't that just the thing. Somehow along the way, it became "my money". It never really was "my money". What in heaven do I have that has not been given.

The question that is rumbling around in my head like a cement mixer is, do I really believe the Bible when it says the love of money is the root of all evil. Cause to be honest with you and if you are gonna be honest with yourself, we as Americans love money and we love the stuff it buys. I watch tv and I want and I want. I watch movies, and I see billboards and magazine articles and I want. It's unfortunate that my ATM and credit cards have my name on them, because in actuality everything I have is God's and on loan to me. I don't own anything and I steal from God constantly. I don't worship him with my money. I don't serve him or others with money. I love money! Jesus reminds me that I can't serve two masters, but in America and in lots of places, we have figured out a nice system to do both. Well, it's not working, nor will it ever. I need to think about this more, but for now I need to pry "my money" out of my hands and give it back to whom it really belongs.

Back in Black

2008-06-24T22:52:00.001-07:00

I have decide at 10:52PM that I need to start blogging again. Some of you have lamented that you miss my crazy ramblings and odd news clippings. Well, tonight I have decided that I will blog at least every other day, if not every night.

Tonight I write a poem....more like an Ode. To what, you ask?

To Hand Sanitizer.

An Ode to Hand Sanitizer:

Oh hand sanitizer
You germ minimizer
You kill and clean when no water is to be found
You bring me comfort when I picked something off the ground
Hand rails, I fear no more, since you are in my life
I love you hand sanitizer, probably because I lack a wife
You smell fresh and clean, and I've heard make children drunk
but only because they licked their hands too much
I almost want to lick my hands too, when I use you
Hand Sanitizer you are great and that is true

I'm a loser

2008-02-15T22:05:00.000-08:00

So, it's Friday night at 10:05PM and I am blogging. Which basically means, that I am a loser! How did I get to this place? I mean, I feel like I have lots of friends. I think people like me, although, my current situation may prove otherwise. It's okay I guess, I like me, as long I don't start playing interactive computer games and watching Lord of the Rings over and over again. If that ever happens, I promise before God and man, that I will beat myself up for the sake of all that is holy and good in this world.

I Just Ate a Whole Bag of Kettle Corn

2007-12-20T21:36:00.001-08:00

I just ate a whole bag of kettle corn. Should I feel guilty? I probably should, but I don't. However, I do feel like one of those scary guys who sit in front of their computer for hours playing "World of Warcraft" and eating countless numbers of Hotpockets. I have been on my computer now for about an hour reading the news and somehow I just consumed the whole bag of Orville Rendenbacher's Kettle Corn. May I say that even though our bow tie wearing friend, Mr. Rendbacher, is no longer with us, his legacy lives on with a fine bag of popping corn. I probably should have done something constructive, but I am tired and didn't eat dinner. I wish I had a corn dog right now. Man, when did my life turn into revolving thoughts about food. I know guys think about food quite often; somehow I think about it a lot. I need to go on a diet.

Humility VS. Wimpiness

2007-01-30T13:14:00.000-08:00

So, I know I haven't blogged very much in the last couple of months....I blame me! Although, I have been very busy, I have also been apathetic and lethargic towards anything creative. Over the past couple of weeks, I have realized something; I realized that I am but the shadow of the man I used to be a year ago. The cause? Probably a lot of things, but mostly, a slow asphyxiation of my desire to pursue God. I usually am pretty hard on myself and sometimes over the top, but this past two week's introspection has been a long time coming. One of the major things I realized was that I traded true humility for wimpiness. The difference, you ask? A big difference! True humility is willing to admit to wrong when necessary. Wimpiness admits to wrong even when nothing wrong has been done. This is born out of a desire to be a people pleaser. True humility is legitimately concerned for people. Wimpiness shows seeming concern for people out of fear of what they they think. Those are just two areas in which I see that I replaced an imposter for the real thing. In my desire to be a people pleaser, I traded humility for wimpiness. I look back and see how I would apologize for things that I didn't need to. Its funny, I see how in my desire to manipulate, I would try to fix situations with apologies when no apologies were needed. Humility sometimes doesn't need to speak, only listen. Sometimes humility only gives a concerned look or a encouraging smile. I am still trying to unpack all the ways that I have changed in the wrong direction, but I know that when a man forsakes the pursuit of God alone he strays from true humility and manliness and becomes wimpy. Yesterday, I was thinking about a John Mayer song where he sings about wanting to "stop this train", this train being a metaphor for time and growing up. That led me to think of Zach Braff movies which run with the same theme. 20-somethings not wanting to grow up and take responsibility. I don't want that life. I need to grow up and take responsibility as a man, not the way the world views men, but as God views them. Thank God for His Grace and for loving a sinful man.

The Gambler

2006-05-21T17:43:00.000-07:00

So I decided to take a nap before our illustrious soccer game today, for which we surely were going to forfeit for lack of players. And surprise! We did. Anyway, back to my nap. So I was unusually tired after church today and I decided to take a nap. I haven't slept really well for a couple of years now and sometimes it catches up with me. It was one of those afternoons where you are hungry and tired, but more tired than hungry, so I opted for sleep. The problem is though, that I have what is deemed an over-active mind. My mind keeps going when my body wants to shut off. What's funny is that in times like these, I think about music a lot. Songs come to my mind and the lyrics take a weird turn to emulate my life. Today the songs that wouldn't let me sleep were Kenny Rogers "The Gambler" and The Fray's "All at Once". Currently my life seems to be changing faster than I can keep up with it. Last week I began to contemplate life's brevity. I think often about death which seems weird to some, but I believe it is healthy for introspection. I begun to realize that my life is short and I never know what may happen. I don't fear death, in fact I find it easier to live with the thought of dying for something greater than myself, like my faith or justice or mercy. On the other hand, I do fear a wasted life! I fear waiting around for things that may happen but possibly won't. Thus the Kenny Rogers song. In "The Gambler" there is one line that says, "You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em, Know when to walk away and know when to run." That is the proverbial question in my life right now. What are the things that I need to just fold on? What do I need to hold on? Do I need to just walk away from some things? The other is "All at Once", which yes is about a girl, but a line in there points more indirectly to how I feel right now in other life decisions. In the song it says "Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same". I appreciate this line, because sometimes as with gambling, folding is the right thing to do and the hardest because it takes courage and resolve, and sometimes holding is the right thing to do and the hardest because it takes patience and trust. I don't think I have have found resolution of thought yet and may not for a while, but I am coming to grips with my own heart and what it means to trust God and to conquer my own fear and doubt by faith. I don't think I am brave, but hopefully when the time comes to hold or fold, I will be resolved and trust God with the consequences knowing that most of the time the hardest thing and the right thing are the same!

Eternal Sunshine

2006-04-29T22:03:00.000-07:00

I just watched "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" again, and I forgot how amazing that movie is! The concept behind the movie once again reminds me why I watch movies. I was looking for a movie to watch as I study...Yes, I can do both at the same time. As I looked through the movies, nothing caught my eye in particular. I perused them a couple times and than realized that Eternal Sunshine was in my bedroom. From the opening scene, I was captivated. The cinematography is so intuitive and forthright. But its the smartness of the actual story line that gets me. How many times have I wanted to erase memories, not just of loves or likes lost, but of pains and troubles and anxieties only to realize that life's lessons are learned in the midst of such tribulation. Not only that though, but all of those not-so-fun life adventures are so closely intertwined with the good memories. Its seems to me that both are like Siamese twins, which you want to separate, but without precision both will be lost. The memory being so complex there is no surgeon or incision precise enough to be able to cut them apart. The other fascinating thing about this movie as it stands, up and against other movies dealing with relationships, is that they are hard, and not always glamorous, and sometimes you want to go as far as erasing all of the memories, but in the end they are good. Its funny how you can could go through all the trouble of erasing the memory of someone only to be inextricable drawn to them still. As Joel in the movie tells Clementine to "Just wait.", and she tells him that eventually he will find something to dislike about her and she will get bored and tired of him. Joel says, "Okay!" Sometimes, you need to let go, but sometimes you just have to wait, not just in romantic relationships, but in all relationships. This isn't necessarily a commentary on my life, but life in general as I have observed. I forgot until tonight why I called my blog, "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotted Mind". I remember now, that even though my mind is so spotted by doubt and sin that there is an eternal sunshine that lives there that gives hope.

PDB

A Little Bit of Me Died This Week

2006-04-20T15:09:00.000-07:00

A little piece of me died this week as I read this article sent to me by my friend Nathan. Now, I know that most of you, if you know me even remotely, know my fascination with little people. I don't know why I am so fascinated with them, but they do bring a warmth to my heart and a smile to my face and curiosity that is normally reserved for a young child in the wee hours of Christmas Morn. As I read this article I felt as though one of my brethren had fallen in the line of duty. I may not be a little person, but I feel knitted together with them in spirit. Somewhere in the world right now are little people, scraping to make a living. They are doing the jobs that most "normal" size people couldn't or wouldn't do. To all you little people out there, I take my hat off and I kneel down to look you in the eye. Hopefully, you can see my gaze of respect and admiration. Which brings me back to the news article at hand. In Northern Bangkok, a "midget" named Od, was doing the old "Midget Bouncing on a Trampoline" routine when somehow he bounced off the trampoline and into the mouth of a nearby yawning Hilda the Hippo. The crowd of over 1000 spectators rose with applause, that is, until they realized this was not a part of the show. Vets later said that Hilda the Hippo swallowed Od due to its gag reflex. When the authorities asked why the circus staff did nothing to save the "midget", they stated, "The Hippo is worth more than the midgets". Once Hilda had completely digested Od, she passed him and they had a proper burial for him. How sad that the worth of a Hippo is more than that of a human being. I ask all who read this to take a moment to ponder this in silence.

I would just like to add that Od was a brave little person, who died in the name of bringing entertainment to many who would shun him or look down on him because of his stature. But today, Od stands tall in my memories and so do many other little people. Next time you see a little person, give um a smile, a nod, and look them in the eye, they are people to. Its the least you can do!

Little League, Lost Cups and Last Morning

2006-04-04T07:00:00.001-07:00

I remember one fine day when I was in little little league. On this particular morning, I was doing the look-for-your-gear-last-minute scramble. For an adult, the clothes hide-and-seek is stressful, but for an eight-year old who thinks this game is the world series it darn near gives you a heart attack. I eventually found everything that I needed, or so I thought, and I was out the door. Only once in the car did I realize I forgot an essential item, I remember being horrified. I forgot my cup! I wasn't so much scared because of the irrevocable damage that could be done to my anatomy rendering me childless for the future. I was however more scared that I wasn't going to be able to play. So I did what any fearful boy would do in this situation, I didn't tell anyone! For some reason, the cup nazi didn't check us this game and I remember the glee I had as I ran onto the field thinking I had gotten away with it. I took my position at second base, and awaited the first play to me. Sure enough, the ball game right to me, a routine ground ball. Suddenly fear gripped me as I realized the pain that could ensue if I didn't field this ball correctly and I watched the ball go thru my legs. This was the beginning of a bad game. Which brings me to yesterday. Yesterday, felt just like that day, I woke up and felt so unprepared to meet the day. I scrambled to get my stuff together, leaving my phone at home for which i had to make a 30 minute round trip back home to pick up. I scrambled to get to meetings, I scrambled to get a paper done. I felt so vulnerable, I felt like I was watching life's baseballs pass between my legs. I gave a presentation in class for which I had no idea what I was talking about and I don't really remember what I actually said. I am pretty sure I talked fast just so I could get thru it. Great job for a speech prof! I came home and I wanted to scream. I wanted to call someone, I wanted to talk to my girlfriend, I wanted to talk to my best friend, I wanted to talk to a friend. But, I didn't, I didn't really tell anyone! I woke up this morning, if you can call it that when you really didn't go to sleep. I got up this morning, yeah that's it, and I know that yesterday taught me something. I start my game a lot forgetting my cup! Most of the time though, I just play thru taking a big chance. There are days like yesterday though that I realize I forgot it and I get freaked out and rightfully so! See, I am most vulnerable when I live each day on my own strength, when I do this I take my chances. I make it thru the game, but I don't really play well. On days where I realize this but don't tell anyone especially God, I take my chances and I see the stats. I make errors, and I feel the pressure. Yeah yesterday, was one of those day. Today, I don't want to play without all my gear! I don't have the strength to beat my opponent without it. I do know this though, with all my gear on, and a Good Coach, today is gonna be a better game. I don't think I ever found my cup when I was eight years old, but I did tell my dad I lost it. We got another one, and I never went to another game without it!

Newsflash: Ted Kennedy Found to Be a Killer Robot!

2006-02-21T10:22:00.000-08:00

Many a times I found myself on my way home late at night and am unexplicable drawn towards the warm glow of florescent lights. The lights of 7-11 and the frozen lovliness of a smooth slurpee beckons as though they were a beautiful siren, and yes; I answer the call. Once I am in 7-11, I feverishly look around and am greeted by all my convenient store friends, hostess products and bbq spiral freetos. My favorite cashier, Tony, a small asian man with a pony tail smiles at me with a grin that emits familiarity. I ignore for a moment all other confectionary distractions and procede directly to my mistress, the Slurpee Oasis. Many a man, has fallen prey to her. I stand in awe; so many decision to make - What size cup? What flavor do I feel like? Does my cups choice render the need for the long straw? Once I finish my decision making I feel somewhat complacent, but am seeminly transported to the junk food section. I meander there for a few moments but realized that it is late and I will regret any other consumptions in the morning. I than move to make my slurpee purchase and say the usual trite greetings to Tony as I hand him my ATM card. Well waiting for the transaction to process so I can fully enjoy the first sip of my culinary lust in peace. My eyes are drawn to the "Weekly World News". I tell myself, "No"! But, my curiosity gets the best of me. I begin to puruse and Tony looks at me with anticipation, as if he knows that I am contemplating the purchase. I flip thru it and I stop, "Ted Kennedy Found to Be a Killer Robot". I read a few lines and begin to be pursuaded that this may not be too far from the truth. Tony hands me my receipt and I leave. I sit in my car, and relish my inaugural sip of my slurpee and ponder the idea of Ted Kennedy as a robot. Suddenly, all at once the world seems to be as it should and I am at peace. I start the engine, pull out, give a little thanks to God for slurpees and the "Weekly World News", and end another good day. God Bless 7-11

PDB

Whole Foods, The FDA, Yes Man

2006-01-10T19:56:00.000-08:00

Tonight I worked out and worked up an amazing hunger that could only be satiated by a few things, the first of which would be raw meat. The second thing that would have curbed my hunger pangs would be Corn Dogs, but I had those last night, hmmm, too late. The last thing and the one I settled, no settled is the wrong word, championed, yeah that fits...The Whole Foods Sandwich, particularly the Turkey, Bacon, and Avocado on Focaccia with Sprouts, scratch that NO SPROUTS. The latter part of that is the reason for this blog. As I was at the gym, lifting my carcass on the dips bar, it occurred to me, that I was craving a good sandwich. Not just any sandwich, but the extraordinary one I just descibed, especially with sprouts.

Excitedly, I left the gym, drove with my roommates to Whole Foods. I stepped up to the sandwich counter and ordered, only to find out there was no more foccaccia bread. Sad, but no big deal. Half way thru my order, I looked with panic, NO SPROUTS! But, I thought I would ask, just in case they elluded my scan. The sandwich artisan, turned to me and said, "Sorry, NO SPROUTS." I looked on with a worried confusion. How could this be? He must have seen my face, and my need for an explanation. He than stated the FDA didn't allow them to put sprouts on food anymore, because of ecoli. Ecoli! I thought we eradicated that in the 20's. Thus, my conspiracy theory is proven, 1. The FDA makes things up! 2. Whole Foods bows to every whim of the FDA. The sandwich dude, next told me that they also have a rule that says they have to have all their serving spoons in the back room facing the same way. Sounds a little Monkish, even for me. How can having spoons facing certain directions, save me from a flesh eating food born virus.

Well, I think I have proficiently vented my frustrations. I miss sprouts. One more day of a ruined dinner. Oh well, I think I will drown my sorrows in a Twinkie.

PDB

Can I Please Get You a Napkin!

2006-01-09T21:00:00.000-08:00

Maybe I am tired, maybe, just maybe it is just me and I am anal, which is a possibility. But, I have just been utterly grossed out. I was in the mall, I needed to get sponges from Target and somehow wound up in the mall. Nevermind that, how I got there is an entirely different story, Anyway, I was in the mall and realized that I hadn't eaten dinner yet. Pretty much my stomach was feeling like I had just spent 3 months in a Vietnamese prison camp, yeah, I was that hungry. I decided to peruse the Food Court, which is like the United Nations. All the foods, of every country, yet probably don't taste like the actual food of those countries. I walked past panda Express, but didn't feel like eating orange dog, I mean chicken tonight. Than, I came my safety, what always beckons me when at Westfield Shopping Center, Hot Dog on a Stick. Amazing, truly! Corn dogs, fried to golden perfection! I have to pray before I go to order, or else I would succumb to my lack of self-control when it comes to those delightful pig parts all covered in fried batter. To get to the point, I was about to get my three corn dogs, when I turned around and it happened. I actually watched a woman lick condiments off her fingers. I almost lost the dinner, that I hadn't eaten yet. Once again, it could be just me, but I believe condiments were made to be eaten on finger foods, not fingers. The idea of someone licking ketchup and mustard off their hands, makes me nauseated, even as I write this. It's almost cannibalistic in nature. Condiments were made for such things as hot dogs, not fat fingers. I am probably crazy I know, but next time you get mustard, or ketchup or anything else on your fingers, please if only for my sake, use a napkin!

P.S. mayonnaise is not a codiment, it is Hitler's last stand. It is the fall-out from Satan being cast out of Heaven with all his minions. It is nuclear waste from Chernobyl. I think I made my point.

PDB

Facebook Anyone?

2005-12-21T14:40:00.000-08:00

So today, I officially joined the cult that is known as "Facebook". Right now I feel two emotions, hidden shame and guilty pleasure. The shame I feel is based upon this overwhelming sensation that I have just conceded to some nerdly cosmic tracter beam that eventually will lead me to move into my parent's basement and watch reruns of Star Trek. I almost want to go home right now and take a hot shower and scrub myself with a metal scrub brush,than lay in a fetal position and cry out, "Why, Why". The second emotional firework I feel right now is one of guilty pleasure which, is brought on by the universal secret desire of everyone to see what happened to all the past people we knew. Its the same feeling that causes you to google your ex-whatevers. Come on, you know you have done it before. In fact, me saying this is reminding you that you haven't done it this week. Sorry, if I have caused any of you to stumble ;) Well, my confession time is over. I think I will go and poke someone.

PDB

Want Your Christmas to Suck...!

2005-12-16T09:47:00.000-08:00

So in my effort to keep myself from dying of either boredom or frost bite in my office, it's 63 degrees in here, I decided to keep my mind and digits moving by looking up stupid things on the internet. Yes, I do this often and I know you do it too, so don't judge me. Anyway, I decided today to try and find the worst possible Christmas gifts one could possibly give this year. After being mortified by what I saw and also hoping that some sites that I was taken to don't flag our server nazis, I stumbled upon the following website: http://www.mymiserablechristmas.com/. This website has nothing to do with horrible gifts, just horrible Christmas experiences. I have to warn you that if you read this website you will be inextricable depressed. As I read thru these I felt genuinely sad for these people, but I was also made thankful knowing that I know that Christmas isn't really about gifts or family or good past experiences, but about Christ being born as a man to die for the sins of His people and that each Christmas not spent in hell is a good one. Still...I am pretty thankful my family doesn't give crappy gifts! Merry Christmas!

PDB

Too Blind to See the Blessings

2005-08-04T14:11:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you, but there are just somedays when you realize that you are too blind to see the inumerable blessings before you. Today is one of those days for me. Two days ago, I would have told myself to keep it to myself. Today, however I went to the dentist, who told me I need to get a crown, of which will cost $800. Which in one sense sucks, but I left and was thankful that I had all my real teeth. I just had lunch with one of the leaders from my church, and his honesty about who he is, was refreshing and convicting at the same time. There are so many good things in this life that I have experienced and have seen and that I can say that God is good, and there are some things that suck, but today I can say confidently God is good. Two sinners having lunch, and realizing that the Christian life is hard, but I can't see nor do I want any other life. Yeah, you go thru hard times and get raked over the coals, but have you ever looked at the the skyline at the trees and noticed how many different types of trees there are, and how many shades of green are displayed. This probably isn't making much sense to anyone else but me, and that's okay. But when I look out and see these things, I realize the simple blessings that I have been too blind to see because I am too busy or consumed by things that didn't go my way. So for today, I sit here at my desk truly excited about the cool and sucky things in life, knowing they are surrounded by blessings I was too blind to see.

The Day After Tomorrow

2005-08-03T10:58:00.000-07:00

Waking Up After This!

This morning I woke up and felt like somewhat hit me in the back of the head with a sledgehammer. No, I was not hungover, although I did take nyquil before I went to sleep...hmm. Anyways, I am pretty sure it is a result of going to bed with a whole lot of what if's and maybe's swirling around in my mind which evidently formed a mental tsunami that hit the shore sometime between 2 and 3 this morning. Today is the day after tomorrow in some sense of the term. I know I have so much to do, but where to start after a day like yesterday which was tomorrow two days ago. If I would have known two days ago, what I know now and feel the effects of today, I probably would have shut off my phone booked a flight to Hawaii, set-up a shaved ice stand and learned how to play the ukalailee. Okay, so maybe that's a little over the top, maybe I am overexaggerating, but remember it's still just the day after. Most likely I will drown myself in my work for a month and than forget about days like yesterday. But, for now, I will just be thankful I survived yesterday, and tomorrow I will wake up and have a bowl of cereal, go surfing and wait and pray. I think that is what I am supposed to do. Cereal, wait and pray...sounds good.

PDB

Gropers Gone Wild

2005-07-29T13:18:00.000-07:00

Our Airports First Line of Defense...Scary

Two days ago, Phyllis Dintenfass of Wisconsin was convicted of assaulting a security officer at an airport. Phyllis, a retired school teacher, was going thru the screening booth when the alarm was triggered. As she was moved to get the wand passed over her, the security officer proceeded to pat her down with the back of her hand. Phyllis, upset that she was getting patted down near her breast, pushed the security officer against the wall, and screamed "How would like to be groped like that" She than groped the security officers breasts. Phylliss could face up to a year in federal prison and up to $100,000 in fines. Maybe its just because I have been traveling a lot, but I applaud Phyllis. Yes, I am thankful for the security, but come on, really what is the overweight woman with the nylon pants that are screaming for dear life because they are so tight going to do to protect me. Obviously, the TSA thinks that groping is intimidating to terrorists. "Come on Ahmed, let's not go thru with our year long plan to crash planes into buildings and kill ourselves, they are doing major groping today." On my recent trip back from Alaska, I went thru the x-ray and groping only to realize that I desperatly need a drink of water which was on the other side of the security station (Juneau is a very small airport with wopping three gates.) So, in full view of the security station, I walked back out, mind you 10 feet away, and got a drink even having a converstion with one of the TSA officers. Once fininshed, I was stopped only have to my bags checked again, and groped again, only more thouroughly this time, As if I had picked up somehow in plain sight of all the TSA officers extracted a knife or weapon from the drinking fountain. So to those fighting back the extensive groping I applaud you! To Phyllis, I say, You Grope Girl!

PDB

How Much is the Virgin Mary Worth to You?

2005-07-26T15:26:00.000-07:00

Things You Will Never Hear On a Kraft Commericial..."The Virgin Mary...It's the Cheesiest."

The woman pictured above sold what she claims to be a "Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese." Her 10 year-old son made a grilled cheese sandwich and took one bite when she claims the Virgin Mary suddenly appeared on the bread. Recently she sold it on ebay for $28,000 to the Grand Palace, a Casino. Upon my own personal close inspection of the picture of the grilled cheese, I have recently converted to be a superstitious Roman Catholic. I have joined the small sect that looks for apparation of Saints in everyday food. I thus will begin my spiritual journey by visiting "Whole Foods" and looking in the produce section for Cantalopes with the resemblance of St. Paul the Apostle. How will I know if I found one you ask. Obviously, it is the one that in any way, kind of, might resemble a person, any person. Than I will go to the chip section and begin by opening every bag and looking at each individual chip, of course throwing out the secular ones that look like Elvis. Once, I have been successful, I will light some candles, bask in its either fruitious or deep fried glory and than sell it for an absorbatant amount of money on ebay or display it so people can be healed.

P.S. If anyone was offended by the this blog....good. You should be. The thought of apparations on food is ridiculous.

PDB

Potheads Like Candy Too!

2005-06-21T10:43:00.000-07:00

I Wonder if the Ice Cream Man Sells These?

Remember the academic owl from the Tootsie Pop commercials. Children would come to him with the proverbial question: "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?" He would than take the sucker and with one lick, two licks, three licks, than CRUNCH, hew would eat the childrens Tootsie pop. Than the sage saying would be spoken, "The world may never know." I remember thinking that if the owl did that to me, I would first procede to beat the heck out of him for eating my sucker, than I would have him stuffed with Tootsie pop wrappers. Okay, I am done...sorry! Now imagine the same owl all lit up and stoned. It kinda makes me laugh. Well, now it's possible, with new Marijuana Lollipops. I wonder how many licks it takes to get to the cannibus center of a marijuana pop? You probably are too stoned to finish it, thus the world may never know, again. I have two questions: Who thinks of this stuff and, what stoner has enough money and intelligence to actually produce them in mass quanities and market them? All the stoners I have known were too dumb or too poor from buying weed all the time. All I have to say is that the world is going to hell in candy cart.

P.s. Using the average of four different tests (each test had over 30 trials), I have calculated it takes an average of 293 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. The world may not know, but I do.

PDB

Monument to War and Youth

2005-06-09T12:14:00.000-07:00

Silence of the Lambs

No it's not this years hottest Christmas gift. This is an art piece presented in an exhibition at the Royal Academy of Art in London, England. This begs the question, "What is art" Is art art? Because if this is really art, I think I could have entered into the Royal Academy of Art at the tender age of 9. I remember the lackluster days of summer spent in my mom's vegetable garden. I would, to her dismay, flood it and make a battle field for my G.I. Joes. I would take my sister's Barbies and use them as human sacrifices to Serpentor. But Joe would always prevail, saving the day and the girl. To punish the insurgents, I would take one of the Cobra soilders and stick black cat fire crackers in their flimsy abdomins (connected to the legs by a rubber band) and explode it...yeah, every guy knows what I talking about. From the bodies blown apart by mortal combat, I errected a monument of fallen war heros melted in a mishmash of carnage by a b-b-q lighter. If the above picture is art, than surely my "Monument to War and Youth", should definitely be in the running for the $150,000 first prize. Oh, if only my dog had not barried it in the yard, I could be on my way to a lucrative art career. All that being said, I guess art really is in the eye of the beholder.

How to Pick a Lock

2005-06-07T12:30:00.000-07:00

Fun for the Whole Family?

In my daily wonders amongst the world wide web, I came upon a nifty little website that explains pretty much how everything works. I grew excited as I read more and more. All of a sudden the mischeivous side of me overwhelmed my curiousity and I looked up, "How to pick a lock?" Sure enough, there it was, a full explanation of how locks work and how to pick them. I don't know right now if I am more excited or scared. I just realized that you really can find most everything on the internet. Now I have not tried this method yet, but as curiosity killed the cat, the cat most likely put himself in a place to get killed. I really really really want to pick a lock right now. Is that bad? Well, maybe I will practice on my own locks and than use it as a service...I promise to leave it at that. Today my office door, tomorrow Fort Knox.

PDB

http://home.howstuffworks.com/lock-picking.htm

The Fourth Reich

2005-06-03T10:55:00.000-07:00

Just another reason for me to eat unhealthy!

I have this friend, let's call her B, and she is always trying to convince me that I should eat organic food. She gave me some organic cookies one time and they tasted like pressed saw dust with raisins in it. How sad to sacrifice taste for substance, why even eat cookies anymore. I didn't realized it, but there is a propoganda movement to get people to eat organic. These people feel like it is their job to convert the culinary masses. This is a raging phenomenon, nay war, that is taking a our country by storm. "Whole Foods" a large organic grocery store chain is now being called the next "Starbucks". People let's stop the insanity, can't our food just all get along. So what if I want to eat a apple pumped full of hormones, that just means more apple to eat. It's my constitutional right. Maybe I'd rather eat pesticides than bite into a juicy worm. Maybe hormones and additives will help me survive a nuclear holocaust. So here is what I say, people have been eating hormones and pesticides for years and they seem fine to me, maybe a few more tumors here and there, but its all in the name of bigger fruit and fewer bugs. And to that, I say "amen and amen". Besides, we all know that once you go organic, you join some cult which closely resembles the nerds who know every Star Date Log, from Captin Kirk on the S.S. Enterprise. The Organo Nazis even made a Star Wars parody called Store Wars it is produced by the same people who produced "The Meatrix" (once again, meat comes into play). Come on, it's fruit! What if we cared this much about dying babies, the homeless, and the rising crime rate. I highly doubt that organic food is going to bring about World Peace.

PDB

www.storewars.org

2005-06-02T16:52:00.000-07:00

Hawaii rocks...I want to live there and surf all the time.

You Could Be the Next Homeschool Hero

2005-06-02T14:55:00.000-07:00

Get a load of this Kid....Can you spell COMB?

It's the most wonderful time of the year...no not Christmas...Chello! The National Spelling Bee. Ah yes, this is the dream summer for homeschoolers all over the country. First, "Star Wars Episode III" comes out of which they will watch around a dozen times and start quoting Mace Windu or Yoda every other line of speech. Next comes out "War of the Worlds", another movie to feed their insaciable appetite for Sci-fi and a world where all of us unsmart people are killed and they are taken to the third moon of Endor to live in peaceful cohabitation with the aliens. Finally, the National Spelling Bee, the cu de gras of Homeschoolers everywhere. I can see the glimmer in their eyes as they feverishly pour over Webster's Dictionary. "Maybe this year I could be the King" I can almost hear them say to themself. I can understand, somewhat of their fawning affection for the sport of spelling. I mean come on, they are deprived of hanging out in normal context with other children. To make it to the Spelling Bee means fame, glory, and friends outside of your home. I could take Raj Pushinajin whose Shri-Lankin parents are a doctor and a lawyer, or Greta Vanbastenhornenburgen. Some of those kids get my vote just for being able to spell their own last name. Well, I guess I will let them have their moment in the sun. They deserve it, I mean hey, they may never have had a friend, but they sure can spell it in front of thousands of people. You try it! Take the challenge below.

PDB

http://encarta.msn.com/quiz_71/Could_You_Win_the_National_Spelling_Bee.html

Foot-in-Mouth Disease

2005-05-16T15:39:00.000-07:00

Its Seems Great at the Time!

Its funny how watching a baby stick their foot in their mouth is cute. Its enjoyable to watch an infant pull their leg up and pop their big toe in their mouth. It would also be adversely digusting to watch an adult pop off their shoe and do the same. It seems I do this a lot. Have you ever had one conversation that makes you forget everything you were doing and realize how much of a tool shed you really are? Well, you guessed it! I just had one of those. Really its good for me to get rocked every once and a while. Times like this remind me of how inconsiderate and lazy I am with relating to people. It seems like lately, I have had a number of these conversations. I read once about this guy who took a vow of silence for a year. He did all the usual things like go to school and eat and watch tv, everything except talk. I wonder how beneficial that would be to me. I guess I could still blog. I wonder how much I would learn to listen, not just hear but really listen if I were to take such a vow. I teach about listening in my speech class, I tell them that the greatest speakers are those who listen more than they talk. I am beginning to presume, that I am probably not a very good speaker based upon how little I listen. Such a large ship steered by a small rudder!

Have This At Your Next Party

2005-05-13T12:36:00.000-07:00

So next time you are throwing some swank shindig, surprise your guest with a delicious and nutritious drink.

Meat-Milk Shake

1 cup milk, chilled

1/2 can Gerber's Strained Meat (Beef, Veal, or Liver)

Salt to taste, or in keeping with diet

Blend ingredients in a shaker and serve cold. Yield: 1 large serving.

Variations: Add 2 tablespoons malted milk powder, 2 tablespoons chocolate flavored malt powder, 2 tablespoons chocolate syrup, or 1 tablespoon brown sugar.

From Special Diet Recipes, Gerber Products Company, 1949.

COMEATY

2005-05-13T10:37:00.000-07:00

I have come to realize that my most profound and random thoughts happen to come to me during my morning showers. I don't know if it's that I am delusional because I am in that nether-world between sleep and awake or if I have a genuine albeit momentary spark of genius. This mornings realization was that meat is funny! No really, meat is funny! I thought about all the sitcoms where someone is hit in the eye and the next scene is that person sitting there with a cut of meat on their face and we all break into hilarity. Take "Napoleon Dynamite" for instance, one of the funniest scenes for me was when Uncle Rico throws a steak and it hits Napoleon in the face knocking his glasses off and almost making him crash the bike. I sit here even now simply thinking about meat and it brings a slighted smirk to my face. Than my friend Scott Zeller finds this hygene product and yet gross is funny as well. So this confirms my theory...Meat is Funny! I love showers, maybe I will come up with the solution to cold fusion well lathering up with Old Spice High Endurance Body Wash.

P.s. I bought a box

I Will Never Look at Bacon the Same

Fear and Loathing in Santa Clarita

2005-05-12T14:39:00.000-07:00

Greetings to those of you who are visiting my site for the first time. These are wanderings of my mind, mostly as I sit at my desk and veg out between the endless onslaught of meetings I have on a daily basis. Right now I am awaiting a meeting that I will most likely sit and stare out the window of the board room counting the veins on the back of my eyeballs until I get called on for my opinion which may or may not be taken into consideration. Oh, the joys of acadamia. I am only embittered at this moment because I just spoke to my friend who is on her way to a U2 concert. I would sell my left kidney or my pancreas to be there right now. Why those you ask? Well, I don't think you really need either one of them. I have a right kidney and who needs a pancreas! Come on, I think I could live a long and fulfilled life with out it. Just as long as I don't have to go to another meeting...(phone)..awesome gotta go, just got called to a meeting.